Problem Child

[likeits1999]

...So, uh. Got some things I should probably tell you guys.

[ Kevin seems a little nervous, he has trouble doing "eye contact" with the mirror. ]

I guess like... first of all, I'm Kevin? I'm from New York? I skate? I've met some of you but not everybody so...

[ He shrugs. ]

You ever known somebody who... uh, has a personal problem? But it turns out that if you know 'em and are around 'em all the time it kinda winds up to be their crap ends up being everybody's shit to deal with?

It's kinda like that.

[ Everything about trying to explain this is awful. Everything. ]

The thing with me is... well..

I'm... kind of a vampire?

[ There. He said it. Getting that part out helps him square up and face it a little better, his gaze steadies straight on the mirror. ]

Actually, not "kind of" at all. I'm definitely a vampire. I drink people's blood. I have to. Been doing this shit a good while, too. The Green's got my back with the whole sunlight deal, but I still ain't exactly keeping down regular grindage if you know what I'm saying.

[ Kevin winces a little. He tried. ]

So... here's the deal: I need to drink blood sometimes. Otherwise I get hungry, and when I get hungry I stop... being able to be a person so good? It's bad. Trust me.

[ Please, please trust the self-described vampire. ]

It's not a lot all the time, I can go a bit if I'm full up, and I can stretch it on animals and junk like that, but it's... yeah, dog.

[ He makes his lungs pull in air and breathe it back out in a long hwoo. ]

The other thing is it's probably... if I'm gonna be real with allay'all, I don't want to put my teeth in you? I mean, I got 'em.

[ He takes a second to drop fangs and show the mirror before pulling them back in, which probably does a whole lot of good for his image with the team. ]

It does stuff to people, though? And I don't want to be like that if we're gonna be doing this Lord of the Rings shit together, alright? If we're gonna be real, I'm gonna be real.

[ Kevin's shoulders sink a little as this sudden surge of confidence falters. ]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do about this, but I'm not lying about it and I'm not gonna sneak around. And I mean.... if y'all wanna run me off into the woods, cool, but I'm gonna end up stuck comin' back like any of the rest of us.

If I could just go find someplace else to be, I mean...

[ He smiles weakly. ]

You wouldn't be hearing this.

Comments

[likeits1999]

[ Kevin shrugs a little. ]

I kinda get that a lot. People could really stand to be more chill.

[ofnovalue]

To be more... cold? I am not certain how that correlates... -Ovelia, please.-

[likeits1999]

You know, being chill?

It's like...

[ Kevin actually has to stop for a minute. "Chill" is such a fundamental part of his vocabulary that he's having a hard time breaking it down into parts. How does he describe chill without "chill"? ]

...Being cool?

[ Perfect. ]

[ofnovalue]

... Tis a fitting analogy, but I am still struggling to find how it relates to this conversation. Of course chilled things are cool.

[likeits1999]

[ Oh no it got worse ]

Nah dog it's not a temperature thing it's just like...

[ He struggles mightily. ]

......Calm? I guess? Like some shit happens and instead of getting all haired up about it you're just like "nah man, that's cool with me."

[ofnovalue]

-While that made a lot more sense...-

Did you... Did you just call me a *dog*? -She's trying not to be offended. It isn't working.-

[likeits1999]

Yeah, dog.

[ ....Wait. ]

Oh man I don't mean a real dog I just mean dog, dog!

[ This is a disaster. Just a complete and total disaster. He can't even be stopped. ]

[ofnovalue]

The colloquialisms of your homeland are so strange... -At least she's backed off from the offended plateau.-

[likeits1999]

[ Kevin pauses. Kevin thinks. ]

I'm real sorry, but I don't know what that means?

[ofnovalue]

-They're gonna talk in circles at this rate. Ovelia takes in a deep breath and lets it out in a long, humming sigh.-

Well.

The important matter is seeing to it that you feel welcome. Regardless of language barriers.

[likeits1999]

[ He kind of wants to press the matter, but given how embarrassing this whole thing has been? Kevin too is glad to just take that and go. ]

Thanks d-

[ He just catches himself. ]

...Thanks.

[ofnovalue]

You are welcome, Kevin. -At least she hadn't forgotten the important part.-

Should you have need of anything, you need only call.