Problem Child

[likeits1999]

...So, uh. Got some things I should probably tell you guys.

[ Kevin seems a little nervous, he has trouble doing "eye contact" with the mirror. ]

I guess like... first of all, I'm Kevin? I'm from New York? I skate? I've met some of you but not everybody so...

[ He shrugs. ]

You ever known somebody who... uh, has a personal problem? But it turns out that if you know 'em and are around 'em all the time it kinda winds up to be their crap ends up being everybody's shit to deal with?

It's kinda like that.

[ Everything about trying to explain this is awful. Everything. ]

The thing with me is... well..

I'm... kind of a vampire?

[ There. He said it. Getting that part out helps him square up and face it a little better, his gaze steadies straight on the mirror. ]

Actually, not "kind of" at all. I'm definitely a vampire. I drink people's blood. I have to. Been doing this shit a good while, too. The Green's got my back with the whole sunlight deal, but I still ain't exactly keeping down regular grindage if you know what I'm saying.

[ Kevin winces a little. He tried. ]

So... here's the deal: I need to drink blood sometimes. Otherwise I get hungry, and when I get hungry I stop... being able to be a person so good? It's bad. Trust me.

[ Please, please trust the self-described vampire. ]

It's not a lot all the time, I can go a bit if I'm full up, and I can stretch it on animals and junk like that, but it's... yeah, dog.

[ He makes his lungs pull in air and breathe it back out in a long hwoo. ]

The other thing is it's probably... if I'm gonna be real with allay'all, I don't want to put my teeth in you? I mean, I got 'em.

[ He takes a second to drop fangs and show the mirror before pulling them back in, which probably does a whole lot of good for his image with the team. ]

It does stuff to people, though? And I don't want to be like that if we're gonna be doing this Lord of the Rings shit together, alright? If we're gonna be real, I'm gonna be real.

[ Kevin's shoulders sink a little as this sudden surge of confidence falters. ]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do about this, but I'm not lying about it and I'm not gonna sneak around. And I mean.... if y'all wanna run me off into the woods, cool, but I'm gonna end up stuck comin' back like any of the rest of us.

If I could just go find someplace else to be, I mean...

[ He smiles weakly. ]

You wouldn't be hearing this.

Comments

[coiledscales]

I'm not sure what "real-world and shit" means, but... thank you?

[ Hrm. Alacruun makes a little coughing noise. ]

You couldn't make any more trouble than we're already in.

[likeits1999]

Yeah like... I don't know. Real serious.

[ He can't quite articulate coldbloodedness in a "thank you for being honest with me" way. ]

Guess so. But I mean, I'll be trying to make it a little less bad. I don't just drink blood.

[coiledscales]

No one just does any one thing. I'm not "just" a dragon, after all. Im sure you're... useful. In your own way.

[ Which might be a backhanded compliment, if there ever was one. ]

[likeits1999]

Yeah dog. Dragons do lots of things.

[ ...He's trying. He really is. ]

[coiledscales]

Oh? How much do you know about dragons?

[ There's a note of curiosity in his voice. You have his attention, Kevin. ]

[likeits1999]

You guys fly. And breathe fire. And probably do magic.

[ Kevin counts that off on his fingers. See? Multiple things. Nailing it. ]

[coiledscales]

Two out of three correct. Not bad.

[ Alacruun sounds amused. ]

What else have you heard? Only good things, I hope.

[likeits1999]

Uh. Sleeping on piles of gold? Eating princesses? They're kinda the less cool ones.

[coiledscales]

Humans don't taste all that pleasant, so I try to avoid eating them if I can. I also don't sleep on gold, thank you.

[ He has better things to do, tbh. ]

[likeits1999]

That shit always sounded mad uncomfortable anyway.

[ ...He stops for a second. ]

Man it is fuckin' crazy that I guess I eat more human than a dragon does?

[coiledscales]

Well, you're a vampire. You feed on blood. It's to be expected.

[ Alacruun takes this in stride, apparently. ]

[likeits1999]

[ It's the completely reasonable well-of-course-it's-that-way tone Alacruun is taking that makes this even weirder. ]

I'm gonna need a minute to get around that one, dragon dude.

What's your name, anyway?

[coiledscales]

You may call me Alacruun. Everyone else does.

[ Look, he's even got a sense of humor. ]

[likeits1999]

Okay, cool.

Does that mean something in dragon? Or is it like that thing where names don't mean stuff.

[ Kevin. Son. Names mean stuff. ]

[coiledscales]

It means something, but I'm not really sure it's worth translating.

[likeits1999]

That's fair.

[ Kevin isn't curious enough to dig. ]

[coiledscales]

If it ever becomes relevant, I'll fill you in.