wilderlands | Problem Child

...So, uh. Got some things I should probably tell you guys.

[ Kevin seems a little nervous, he has trouble doing "eye contact" with the mirror. ]

I guess like... first of all, I'm Kevin? I'm from New York? I skate? I've met some of you but not everybody so...

[ He shrugs. ]

You ever known somebody who... uh, has a personal problem? But it turns out that if you know 'em and are around 'em all the time it kinda winds up to be their crap ends up being everybody's shit to deal with?

It's kinda like that.

[ Everything about trying to explain this is awful. Everything. ]

The thing with me is... well..

I'm... kind of a vampire?

[ There. He said it. Getting that part out helps him square up and face it a little better, his gaze steadies straight on the mirror. ]

Actually, not "kind of" at all. I'm definitely a vampire. I drink people's blood. I have to. Been doing this shit a good while, too. The Green's got my back with the whole sunlight deal, but I still ain't exactly keeping down regular grindage if you know what I'm saying.

[ Kevin winces a little. He tried. ]

So... here's the deal: I need to drink blood sometimes. Otherwise I get hungry, and when I get hungry I stop... being able to be a person so good? It's bad. Trust me.

[ Please, please trust the self-described vampire. ]

It's not a lot all the time, I can go a bit if I'm full up, and I can stretch it on animals and junk like that, but it's... yeah, dog.

[ He makes his lungs pull in air and breathe it back out in a long hwoo. ]

The other thing is it's probably... if I'm gonna be real with allay'all, I don't want to put my teeth in you? I mean, I got 'em.

[ He takes a second to drop fangs and show the mirror before pulling them back in, which probably does a whole lot of good for his image with the team. ]

It does stuff to people, though? And I don't want to be like that if we're gonna be doing this Lord of the Rings shit together, alright? If we're gonna be real, I'm gonna be real.

[ Kevin's shoulders sink a little as this sudden surge of confidence falters. ]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do about this, but I'm not lying about it and I'm not gonna sneak around. And I mean.... if y'all wanna run me off into the woods, cool, but I'm gonna end up stuck comin' back like any of the rest of us.

If I could just go find someplace else to be, I mean...

[ He smiles weakly. ]

You wouldn't be hearing this.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah but that's different? That's like "oh, dog, sorry you got hit by a bus" and not "here yo, bite my neck and suck out my juice".

People like that second one a whole lot less.

[ He pauses. ]

Unless you know somebody chill with that, which is probably not a safe way to be if I'm gonna be real honest with you.

[Her nose wrinkles up.] Well if you put it that way, it sounds gross.

I'd say I wouldn't mind, but that probably wouldn't work out so well. Purple, you know. Medical stuff doesn't usually work so great with me. But there are races in the known worlds that do all kinds of things humans think are weird or bad but it's not, really, it's just how they are. You shouldn't be ashamed of just being how you are.

[ Kevin's head bobs exaggeratedly in a yes, you get it! nod. ]

It's super gross.

[ As for the rest of it... He frowns a little. ]

That's real nice of you, no joke, but like... I guess the thing is that I'm not supposed to be this way? I'm just supposed to be human.

Like... some vamps, yeah they're all into being vampires and the living forever and junk. But not all of us really signed on for it, you feel me?

[She blinks, not sure if this is supposed to be a metaphor, too, or not.]

You're supposed to be human but you're a vampire?

[You could become a cyborg or something similar, but you'd still be human in between the parts. There are races that go through some very strange metamorphoses, but they're still what they're 'supposed' to be.]

How can you be something you're not supposed to be?

Yeah. It's... I guess you don't got vampires?

[ He supposes that makes sense. He's never heard of a purple person, why would a purple person know about vampires? ]

Alright, so it's like this.

Vampires all used to be people? Well. Normal people. Then another vampire turned them into a vampire. Which means-

[ Kevin counts off fingers. ]

One: You're dead.

Two: You gotta drink blood, otherwise you get hungry and it gets real nasty.

Three: The sun will light you on fire. I'm alright though here, I guess, cause magic?

Four: You live forever. Or unlive? [ He hesitates, then forges ahead. ] Yeah, it's definitely unliving.

There's some other crap that goes with it and all, but... yeah. That's the big parts.

[She nods along with his explanation, expression still a little confused but slowly turning to dawning understanding or something like it.]

So kind of like zombies? Not that we have those, either. [But dead-except-not and eating people-ish sounds like... maybe zombies?]

The... unliving forever part doesn't sound so bad, but I can't imagine getting set on fire by the sun. I'm guessing you didn't want to be a vampire?

Yeah, except we don't come apart like that.

[ Kevin scrunches his face up because ew. But the rest of it... well. His response is more measured. Kevin's gotten pretty easy and chatty with this line of conversation, but here he seems to hesitate. ]

...Forever's kind of a wicked long time?

[ That would be a "no". ]

Oh. I guess it is. [Some of her people haven't handled their forevers very wisely. She supposes maybe some people wouldn't want it at all, if there was a choice. She hasn't really minded hers, but there are parts of it even she doesn't look forward to.]

Well. I know it might not help with forever, but at least right now, you're making lots of friends, right? [Her voice is hesitant, something of a verbal white flag.] That's always helped me when I'm somewhere new. Like here.

Yeah. I am.

[ That brightens him a little bit again. ]

You're right.

[ This was terrifying for Kevin, but now that he's talking? Telling the truth? He feels like he might be able to make this work, for however long they're together here.

He can have friends. ]

[Which in turn brightens her up infinitely. She's just so much happier to make people happier than to make them sad, even accidentally.]

Exactly! And once you have friends, you can figure out the solutions to all sorts of other problems.

Problem Child

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