Problem Child

[likeits1999]

...So, uh. Got some things I should probably tell you guys.

[ Kevin seems a little nervous, he has trouble doing "eye contact" with the mirror. ]

I guess like... first of all, I'm Kevin? I'm from New York? I skate? I've met some of you but not everybody so...

[ He shrugs. ]

You ever known somebody who... uh, has a personal problem? But it turns out that if you know 'em and are around 'em all the time it kinda winds up to be their crap ends up being everybody's shit to deal with?

It's kinda like that.

[ Everything about trying to explain this is awful. Everything. ]

The thing with me is... well..

I'm... kind of a vampire?

[ There. He said it. Getting that part out helps him square up and face it a little better, his gaze steadies straight on the mirror. ]

Actually, not "kind of" at all. I'm definitely a vampire. I drink people's blood. I have to. Been doing this shit a good while, too. The Green's got my back with the whole sunlight deal, but I still ain't exactly keeping down regular grindage if you know what I'm saying.

[ Kevin winces a little. He tried. ]

So... here's the deal: I need to drink blood sometimes. Otherwise I get hungry, and when I get hungry I stop... being able to be a person so good? It's bad. Trust me.

[ Please, please trust the self-described vampire. ]

It's not a lot all the time, I can go a bit if I'm full up, and I can stretch it on animals and junk like that, but it's... yeah, dog.

[ He makes his lungs pull in air and breathe it back out in a long hwoo. ]

The other thing is it's probably... if I'm gonna be real with allay'all, I don't want to put my teeth in you? I mean, I got 'em.

[ He takes a second to drop fangs and show the mirror before pulling them back in, which probably does a whole lot of good for his image with the team. ]

It does stuff to people, though? And I don't want to be like that if we're gonna be doing this Lord of the Rings shit together, alright? If we're gonna be real, I'm gonna be real.

[ Kevin's shoulders sink a little as this sudden surge of confidence falters. ]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do about this, but I'm not lying about it and I'm not gonna sneak around. And I mean.... if y'all wanna run me off into the woods, cool, but I'm gonna end up stuck comin' back like any of the rest of us.

If I could just go find someplace else to be, I mean...

[ He smiles weakly. ]

You wouldn't be hearing this.

Comments

[outofresets]

Whow! So your fangs are all retractable and stuff?

[ Apparently someone learned to make his mirror float because both hands are free to mime fangs dropping from his mouth. Which is totally being sensitive of the situation. ]

The movies got that bit all wrong, huh?

And dude, you don't need to feel like you should go running off in the woods! At least you were upfront about it. But if feeding with your fangs does weird stuff to people, do you have any other way to eat? Like would it work to just drink from a cut or something? I don't know if we have medical stuff for drawing blood.

[likeits1999]

Oh yeah. Like... if vampires couldn't hide 'em we'd be pretty shit outta luck, y'know?

[ He's worryingly conversational with that fact. ]

I think that green dude has some kind of idea and I'm really hoping that works out. I don't... like doing this to people. Specially cause there's not like a lot of us here to spread it around.

[outofresets]

Oh. Whoops. Missed that. [And that's what he got for not paying full attention. He at least has the decency to look a bit embarrassed about it.] Shoulda guessed Brainy would come up with somethin', though. [Good ol' Brainy!] And hey, don't beat yourself up about it, it'll be fine. We're all supposed to help each other get through this and all that cheesy nass anyway, right? [Even in admitting the sentiment is cheesy he manages to sound super earnest about it anyway.]

But wait, what do you mean shit out of luck? Do you guys get hunted down where you come from? [Guess that part was more true to the movies, but then again, the vampires in the movies generally weren't nice enough to ask if the people around them would be willing to help them out. But still, if that was the case, it explained why Kevin here was acting as if they might all try to chase him off or kill him on the spot.]

[likeits1999]

Thanks, man.

[ God it's weird being told that he's worth looking after. He's not treated like this at home. ]

Yeah, people get mad about us? But also like...

[ He tries to think of a non-creepy way to put this.

He fails. ]

...People don't exactly make it easy to get close to them if you got teeth like that, yo.

[outofresets]

Really? I know lots of people that have fangs, and people don't seem weirded out by it. 'Least not too bad.

[The implication behind 'getting close to someone' very possibly just went right over his head.]

And I've let plenty of them close to me.

[It definitely went over his head. The dangers of using subtly with someone who takes everything literally.]

[likeits1999]

Well maybe you're from someplace with a lot more monsters.

[ Which... weird, but not impossible, right? ]

...And I mean like.... y'know. To suck blood?

[ He's beauty, he's grace. ]

[outofresets]

Oh!...Uh[Whoops...again.] I guess I can see how that would be a problem.

And well, they aren't monsters where I come from...most of them. Just different. Like, Slo-bo has-...had fangs, and he was an alien.

[There's a pang when he has to pause and correct himself. It had been months now, and it was still weird to think of his teammate in the past tense. They were never exactly close, barely even got along outside of when they flew the team's ship together...but still.]

[likeits1999]

We got monsters, but just... you know. Not many of 'em that look like people.

[ No one has corrected him of his false belief that werewolves aren't real yet. ]

...Don't worry, man. It's not my favorite thing to do.

[outofresets]

Yeah, kinda got that feeling from the way you were talkin' about it. Sounds like it would suck. [Is that supposed to be a really insensitive bad pun? Or is he really just that oblivious? Who knows! It's really hard to tell.]

What kinds of monsters do you guys have? Do you have chupacabras? Because we're supposed to have those but I never found one.

[likeits1999]

It does.

[ He says that perhaps a little too brightly. Like damn, it sucks, being able to say it sucks is invigorating in a way. ]

Iunno about chupacabras but like... there's creepy stuff that we don't all know what it is and things.

Like...

[ He fidgets a little with the mirror. ]

It's probably better not knowing? Cause if you know, then they expect you to do shit about it. And that doesn't go so good.

[outofresets]

[He doesn't seem particularly perturbed by that idea. If anything he's more curious, as if he's never heard about what curiosity did to the cat.]

Doing stuff about creepy and dangerous things is basically my job already. I mean most of the time I just end up fighting crooks, but when I was working with Young Justice, we like, literally went to hell once. [And that was one of the less dramatic missions, outside of being temporarily brainwashed by parasite demons. ]

But does that mean you're the one having to do stuff about the creepy monster things on your world?

[likeits1999]

Yeah?

[ That's what Bart does? He looks over Bart with some uncertainty. He doesn't look like somebody who fights monsters in hell.

Then again, Kevin supposes vampires don't all look the way he imagined either. ]

It's... okay like I guess it's kind of my job now, but it's because...

[ Kevin scratches the back of his neck. ]

I saw a monster one time and now I guess nobody actually cares that I don't know how to fix that? Like... for real, vampire stuff, I'm not a big guy and I'm not important.

They don't put you where I am if anyone gives a shit.

[ It's not that Kevin's tore up about it, it's just... sort of embarrassing? ]

[outofresets]

Yep.

[Kevin can't really be blamed for thinking that. If anything Imp looks more like a kid who got dragged here from a comic convention than a fighter of evildoers. Not that he seems to be aware of that fact.

As Kevin explained his situation further, Imp's perky demeanor swiftly shifts.]

So, they're making you fight things you ran into by accident 'cus they think you're somehow worth less than the rest of them?

[Okay, it was one thing to have to fight monsters and things after you found out they existed, especially if you have some powers to back you up (which he's hoping Kevin has, most vampires seemed to). That's something that happens all too often in their world. But being forced to fight something you stumbled into, by people who think you're just expendable, that was something else.

He'd seen a lot of screwed up crap, sometimes even from their own mentors, but one thing he could say for them, even Wally, was that they had always looked out for the kids best interests first. Sometimes to an obnoxious degree, but they never saw them as expendable or worth less than the rest of them.

The idea that a group would put one of their own in a dangerous position for no other reason then not caring if it gets them killed, was unthinkable.

Unless they were villains...or politicians.]

Where did they put you?

[likeits1999]

I mean like... I saw it first so I guess that's more than pretty much anybody had heard about the thing, but yeah.

[ Kevin shrugs. He's not even angry about it. Perhaps that's kind of weird, but he just can't muster that feeling. It makes him tired more than anything, tired and maybe not as scared as it probably should. ]

It's not actually a big deal, it's just kinda how it is if you're not important. You do shit important people tell you to do. Or, you just don't get noticed.

[ That's clearly the better option. ]

But when acid slime shit comes creepin' around you gotta go report it because that's what you do. Everybody else's gotta live here too.

[ As for where they put him... ]

I'm on the Garbage Crew. That's what they call us. I don't know what everybody else did to get on the list, but it sure ain't black tie.