Last Minute Prep

[googledox]

We don't know how much the Crows can be trusted but if what they said about our existence attracting the eye of unknown enemies is true, we shouldn't shelter in place for long. Now that we've decided on a course of action, we need to prepare for the journey ahead.

I can't do much trapped in this place [The stone walls of the Brugh can be seen behind him] but I figured the least I could do is initiate this conversation.

A fifty mile journey by air may entail a significantly different route by foot and we need to anticipate everything from weather, to how to store water, to our calorie intake needs.

[ooc: People can use this for last minute discussions, ic planning, gathering of supplies/building of useful items. Feel free to have network threads turn to action.]

Comments

[awfulcer]

What are you, a fucking shrink? Do Vikings even have those?

[It doesn't come out as angry or committed as he would like. It wouldn't scare anyone off, much less someone who has just explicitly said they aren't about to be scared off. He can't know this, but in some ways he and Toothless are similar, creatures limping around with injuries they can't fix themselves.

For the last few weeks Dixon's been letting himself be caught from falling just by the kindness of people who have no reason to give it to him.]

Look at this whole group and then look back at me and tell me you don't understand why I can't do this.

[wherenoonegoes]

You are not the least equipped to handle this. You're armed, you have actual clothes, and you have all your limbs. Not everyone on this team can say all of that, me included.

[True, Hiccup had a varied set of skills that more than made up for his missing foot, but it was the principle of the thing.]

The scale of what we may have to do is huge, Even the trip to find out what we have to do is going to be hard. I'm not looking forward to walking fifty miles on a peg-leg, even if we ignore the fact that we're going to be attacked by the undead. I'd probably be having just as much of a problem as you if I let myself think about how enormous the mess we've gotten ourselves into is.

[suicide mentions]

[awfulcer]

Shit.

[Great, so he's been feeling sorry for himself in front of an amputee. Dixon could kick himself, dig deeper into that failure feeling because how dense and unobservant does one have to be to not notice someone's missing a leg? No wonder he was a terrible cop.

It's so hard to pull out a tailspin once you're in it, and he's had a few weeks to build momentum.]

I can't even get through the day anymore. Any day. A regular day. [It's almost a whimper. He's raw all the way down. He doesn't tell Hiccup that the day before he came here he had a gun in his arms and was preparing to shoot himself in the head on his mother's bed, but he wants to. Maybe it'd illustrate the point.]

I never done anything right in my life and now when I fuck it up, the stakes are high.

Re: [suicide mentions]

[wherenoonegoes]

[Hiccup is silent. He's not equipped to handle this, and he's not sure what to say. He knows he needs to say something though,, and as long as he actually thinks through what he says he can't make things much worse than they already are.]

Then don't try to. Put it into terms you can deal with. Get through six hours. If you can get through those six hours, then you can get through the next six hours.

As for fucking things up? I doubt that you've ever managed to nearly get an entire town destroyed by a psychotic warlord, so you're already doing better than I am.

[awfulcer]

[It's a decent strategy, and the patience Hiccup's showing gets into Dixon's head why Hiccup's a chief where he's from. It's different than the way Dixon's own chief was - all the kindness there tough and leathered, though real - but the patience is the same.

Dixon does a lot of taxing patience. It's one of his special skills.

He tries to pull himself together. Stop unloading on this guy half his age.

He sighs. His eyes well up. It does put things in a little bit of perspective: all he's done is lose his job, phenomenally and violently violate the spirit of what his beloved and departed Chief wanted for him, get the hell beat out of him on a case he couldn't solve for nothing, and just generally circle the drain. It's not like he got Ebbing blown off the map.]

You didn't get it destroyed, did you?

[wherenoonegoes]

Toothless and I managed to drive him and the dragon he was using to attack us off before he could do too much damage. A few homes got smashed, but we're used to rebuilding at this point. Dragons, lots of fire, wooden houses...you get the idea. We only made peace with ours about five years ago, so we've got a lot of practice at it.

[Unspoken is the other damage Drago had done, by killing Hiccup's father. This wasn't the right time or place for that particular conversation.]

It was a very close thing, though.

[awfulcer]

Man, I've just about had it with fire. [It's kind of a joke, but it's very weak. His face may have been healed into just scar tissue but it's still a recent and painful memory.]

But at least that makes sense why you're here. I got no idea what business I have in the company of folks like you.

[wherenoonegoes]

[Hiccup winces a bit.] I'll try to keep talking about it to a minimum then.

As for why you're here? Nobody really knows why any of us are here except the spirits that brought us. Maybe there's a reason for it now. Or maybe it's not a matter of right now, so much as it is what you'll be able to do in the future with the right push.

[awfulcer]

It's alright. No big deal.

[He huffs, then rests his mouth against the side of his hand, exhaling deep through his nose.

Six hours at a time. He unholsters his shield from his back.]

You mind throwing a punch at me? [The intoxicating side effects of the cursed shield are something he's trying to keep a little secret, but he could stand to take the edge off his nerves before they start the real work tomorrow.] There's some magic in this that's relaxing. I'll give you a hit on it too.

[wherenoonegoes]

Calming? [Hiccup blinks. So many things about their entire time at the temple suddenly make sense.]

You mean that's how you've been getting drunk this entire time?

[It was a fair way to interpret how Dixon had been acting so far. Trying to start a fight with a dragon that hadn't been bothering anybody, aside from everything else, was usually done by the drunk. Or, minimally, the very hungover.]

[awfulcer]

[The look Dixon gives Hiccup is in equal measure defensive, embarrassed and outright ashamed. He had assumed he had been more covert about the whole thing, but Revan saw through him, and apparently Hiccup did, too. That whole feeling of wanting to sink into the Earth, of the absolutely inability to rise to the coming challenges, roars back to a fever pitch.]

I'm not getting drunk. You can't get drunk when you don't drink anything. [The fact that it totally feels the same as getting drunk and has seemingly entirely cured his detox symptoms doesn't mean anything.]

[wherenoonegoes]

Relax, I'm not going to judge you for it. We're in a relatively safe spot. If that's what you need to cope right now, that's fine.

[Hiccup's expression takes on a much more serious cast. Dixon had never heard Hiccup's mother say the young chief had the soul of a dragon, but if he had he would probably be clear now why she had.]

I want to make something clear, though. If you overdo it on the road? I will absolutely be annoyed. I'm guessing it's unavoidable in a fight, but outside of that try to keep it to a minimum.

[awfulcer]

[It doesn't matter if Hiccup judges him; Dixon judges himself. The levels of detox he just went through are a wake-up call in that they've called to his attention how serious his dependence on alcohol is - they're not, however, an impetus to try and change the problem so much as manage it by trying to drink it away.

He doesn't know any other way to stay out of the spiral.]

Maybe I don't give a shit if you're annoyed. I never elected you boss. [He sulks. The goodwill Hiccup just got gets a little water splashed on it.] Now, you gonna punch me or not?

[wherenoonegoes]

I just don't want you to see you get hurt if it could've been avoided, alright? This is me trying to keep everyone, including you, especially you in this case. as safe as I possibly can.

[It might've been more than a little blunt, but it had come from a place of caring. Even as randomly tossed together as the squad was, Hiccup didn't want to see the anyone in it come to harm if he could do anything about it.]

And, like I said, if it's what you need to cope right now? That's fine. I'll throw the punch.

[True to his word. Hiccup does actually haul back and throw the punch.]

[awfulcer]

Well, that makes one of us. [Dixon brings the shield up to bloc Hiccup's blow and the shield - and Dixon - take on a pearly, dim, shimmering glow. Dixon's expression says more about the change than the magic, though. There's an expression of relief that crosses his face, of tension slacking and a sad sort of resignation. He stays seated on the ground, closes his eyes to let the hit run through his blood.

He's adjusted to the magic a little - now instead of getting completely wasted off one collision with the shield, it's just like taking maybe two shots of whiskey. Enough to give a buzz, not enough to incapacitate, at least for a bit.

He holds the shield out to Hiccup.] You can have one too. Swear, it feels fine.

[wherenoonegoes]

I shouldn't. [Hiccup gets to his feet, dusting himself off as he does so.]

No offense, but there's still a lot of work I have to do before we go. Plus I'm going to need to fly a patrol in a bit. Drunkenness and dragon-riding doesn't really mix well.

[awfulcer]

[The reminder that there's work to do, that Dixon's already opting out, just makes him wince, but the magic takes the edge off the beatdown he's giving himself.]

Alright. You go do that. [He finally gets to his feet. His eyes are still welled up.] I'll get some rest. I need it.

[He really just needs a minute to compose himself without actively crying in front of others, but he doesn't have to actually say that.]