[The fact that Dixon actually listens to this lecture is a miracle unto itself, because he at first opens his mouth to protest, tired of feeling condescended to yet again with some variant of "I'm smart and you're stupid so my opinion matters". But he does listen, even if he almost nopes the fuck out at the comparison to an ape and then an ant. He probably wouldn't if Brainiac hadn't given him medical attention a few weeks back.
His whole body is shaking, and he's pretty sure his heart slamming away inside his chest is visible from the outside. Sometimes he feels so wired up it's like he expects his brain to just explode in a flash of light and kill him. He tries to find calmness and comes up dry, so he just stays paralyzed, absorbing Brainiac's words. And he wants to believe. He wants to believe there's something that makes a life worth saving even if it's that of an idiot, a drunk, a loose cannon, a violent, emotional loser who can't do anything right and makes everyone else's life harder.
He wants to believe that maybe Chief was right and there's some good in him deep down.]
I don't have time for this, [he says once he moves past that paralyzing rage enough to function again. He walks away from the mirror and snatches at his pocket for his lighter and cigarettes. He'll apologize to Kevin about this all going south later.]
no subject
His whole body is shaking, and he's pretty sure his heart slamming away inside his chest is visible from the outside. Sometimes he feels so wired up it's like he expects his brain to just explode in a flash of light and kill him. He tries to find calmness and comes up dry, so he just stays paralyzed, absorbing Brainiac's words. And he wants to believe. He wants to believe there's something that makes a life worth saving even if it's that of an idiot, a drunk, a loose cannon, a violent, emotional loser who can't do anything right and makes everyone else's life harder.
He wants to believe that maybe Chief was right and there's some good in him deep down.]
I don't have time for this, [he says once he moves past that paralyzing rage enough to function again. He walks away from the mirror and snatches at his pocket for his lighter and cigarettes. He'll apologize to Kevin about this all going south later.]